It was so nice of you to pop in to Britain to wish Her Maj happy birthday. I hope you enjoyed your tea and cake. I’m sure it’s a busy time for you at the moment clearing out the office in time for your retirement.
We’ve had some adventures together over the years – a couple of world wars and a few scrapes in the desert. Remember when no-one else wanted to come play with you but we came along to keep you company and watched your back. These were the same countries you now admire so much and want to be chums with ..
We’re quite alike really even though you’re way across there on the other side of the pond. We like to think we can run our own show and get grumpy when the neighbours trample on our lawn and start telling us how it’s going to be.
I’m still undecided if we should move out of the EU neighbourhood and tell Brussels to get stuffed, but your not so veiled threats of ending up at the ‘back of the queue’ begging for favours from you have me a tad vexed. If there’s one thing Brits are good at and that’s queuing!
Whatever ‘special relationship’ we had with you is obviously over and we’ve been crossed off the White House Christmas card list but not to worry, we got this far in the last 2000 years and I’m sure we’ll get by without you, and Brussels come to that, should WE decide that’s the way to go.
Say Hi to the wife and kids and safe journey home x