Dilemma

The idea behind my blog was an outlet to help me be more creative and outgoing, and give me a new perspective on life while I ventured out for a new future.  I want to keep it calm and lighthearted and anything more vexing could go in my journal that I’ve kept for the last 12 years.  However, today I need to push this out in to the abyss.

0c83ffacf6a7408c61d08fda5ce5d68a

This morning I had an email from the company that have just made me redundant after 9 years of blood, sweat and many tears letting me know they have a vacancy which could be done on a consultancy basis for almost twice the daily rate I use to earn.  Yippee went ego, the Universe did listen to us whinging and has sent a positive vibe, an opportunity.  I need to add that my one fear (ok one of many) is of leaving planet Earth on my last journey and being shown all the opportunities I passed on whilst having my one life!  I have the feeling I’ve been missing out on stuff that’s been disguised like a tiger in the trees – I need my opportunities wrapped in neon paper with a big red bow, flashing lights and  ringing a bell ..

 

69cf12008a1c77ef9666e18d22542702

So ego is jumping up and down getting all excited shouting ‘call her, the money looks great, what you waiting for!!’  Calm down we’ve been through this before and I promised this time we wouldn’t go back to the dark side, this time we would do something that would make us happy for at least the next 10 years even if we had to live on dog food – and not that expensive stuff for sensitive dogs!

 

My career has been a succession of positions I’ve been pushed in to emotionally – at 18 I wanted to work abroad but my Dad cried so much at the thought that I didn’t go, the ex-husband putting himself out of work meant I had to take a change in career I didn’t want so I could pay the mortgage, the love of my life told me to take a promotion because he would be so proud of me – I did, it nearly finished me off, he left ..

So my next adventure is one to take all on my own – which is scary as Hell, but exciting at the same time.  Now I’m off to do what I usually do in times of dilemma, going to the garden centre to buy plants and spend the rest of the day in the garden ..

21f66de402e1ecadef3228940e23e6bd

 

Advertisements

3 thoughts

  1. That really helped me today – my faith was waivering but reading this has given me a bit of strength to keep positive and trust that something will be provided by the universe!!! Thanks x

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s