Day Three went by without a word written .. quickly followed by Day Four and so on ..
So here I am at what should be Day Thirteen – Silence
Right, catch up time:
- Day Three – Boundaries You know the ones – leave Dad alone he’s in one of his moods or don’t talk about xxx in front of Grandma. You tiptoe about to keep the peace, trying to keep a low profile and not rock the boat. Boundaries are how you let people know how you want to be treated, how successfully have you stood up for your own boundaries? Do you let others know when they overstep the mark or let them trample over your feelings? I can’t say this has been a success for me in the past, being the child of a narcissist meant boundaries were very much a one sided affair. My boundaries finally became physical ones, not answering the phone, putting bolts on my gate and changing door locks so I could hide in my home.
- Day Four – Connected to Yourself and Day Five – Self Neglect These seemed to go together. Being disconnected from yourself, not taking the time to notice what your body is telling you, giving it a voice and paying yourself the attention you deserve. It’s easier to distract yourself with things like work, food and drink, or other people’s wants. Avoiding the need to recognise our own pain or shortcomings. It may work in the short term but our minds and bodies are clever instruments and at some point will make you listen – usually breaking down through illness as a last resort, a cry of help to please pay attention to what your own self is desperate for.
- Day Six – Happiness How often do you stop in the day and check if you are happy? How many times have you smiled in the last few hours? A few years ago I read a book called The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. I don’t get excited by setting goals or resolutions, I was past the point of wanting ‘things’ to make me happy. The Desire Map asked me to think about how I wanted to feel and how I could generate those feelings on a daily basis. Out of this was born my ‘Happy List’, a very simple list to bring me joy and bliss and put a smile on my face with very little effort or expense. As the song says, here are a few of my favourite things –
stroking my dog Harveyhound
the smell of oranges
feeling warm & clean
dancing in the kitchen while I cook
singing in the car
feeding the birds in my garden
deadheading the roses
rolling a smooth pebble in my palm
What would be on your Happy List, what nourishes you and puts a smile on your face?
- Day Seven – I’m Stuck My ‘stuck’ looks like frustration, sometimes fear, a confidence malfunction. I can now sit with the feeling, try and find out what it’s trying to tell me, give it chance to unwind and loosen it’s grip
Time for a break and check in on my Happy quota. I will return soon with further adventures of my 30 days of journaling!!